17 October 2006

 

Pop Rocks & Pineapples Mission Statement

Pop Rocks and Pineapples comments on complex social phenomena by using an ingenious and heretofore unheard of Ten Point Scale.

Our formula's genius lies in its simplicity: Five Packages of Pop Rocks represents the crème de la crème, while Five Pineapples represents the worst of the worst.

The intrinsic meanings of the aforementioned symbols are profound; however, for readers untrained in interpreting the symbols revealed within the hallowed pages of the canon of human literature, we offer you an abridged explanation--Pop Rocks go where you would most like them to go, and Pineapples go where you would least like them to go.

It is our belief that observing and interpreting the chain of human events with the Pop Rocks and Pineapples Paradigm remains the fastest and purest road to enlightenment. We humbly offer the world our minds to accomplish this end, and we pray you will join us to help make our world a better place...One Pineapple or Pop Rock at a time!

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