18 October 2006


Can't Live With Them, Can Live Without Them

The advent of women covering football athletic contests from the sidelines is nothing new. Any man worth is weight in salty manliness heralded this as the end of the world as we know it. , and continues to gripe about it daily. In fact, a man's man knows it is his duty and obligation to warn against the feminization of football and the world in general. Some people call this misogynous. I call it wisdom.

Having a woman report from the sidelines of a football game, would be like me reporting from the sidelines of a women’s soccer game. Except, I couldn't do a sideline report from a women’s soccer game, because women’s soccer sucks more than women’s basketball, and I wouldn't be there in the first place. So perhaps it's not a good analogy, but I know one thing: a woman football sideline reporter isn't my thing, and I believe it could be an unnatural and unholy undertaking. In fact, I have it on good authority that it makes God cry.

Here is the BOTTOM line: I would rather shove FIVE, that is right, FIVE Pineapples where the sun don't shine rather than listen to a single second of a sideline bimbo whine!

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